*.* My Dream *.*
Just wanna share with you guys how God has helped me in pursuing my dream.
(Written on the day I receive my letter of acceptance)
I’m looking at the medicine brochure hanging over my desk now. I have a habit of hanging my goals over my desk. Yes, going into medicine is my goal, and becoming a doctor is my dream!!
And I can’t believe I’m seeing my dream coming true now. It’s really amazing!
I know I didn’t have a perfect “A” level result to start with. But God gave me a chance to go interview. Thank God.
When I was preparing my portfolio, I realized I need to have two recommendation letters. I had no clue how to do it. But God provided, and he provided more than enough. I got three recommendation letters in the end, two from my teachers, one from a doctor. Thank God.
When I went for the interview, I said being a doctor is my dream, and I’m very interested in learning the human body and different diseases, but most importantly, I have the passion for healing the sick.
I told them I want to specialize in oncology as cancer is the leading cause of death in most countries, and I wish to come up with some cures in the future. And as they bombarded me with all sorts of unexpected questions, I’m amazed that I didn’t blank out but I still smile at them and said, “Okay, that’s a very good question.”
Even till now I can’t figure out how I managed to be so cool and composed at that moment. I know it could only be God who taught me how to answer those questions. Thank God.
Frankly speaking, I didn’t feel good after the second interview. I thought I had screwed it. The interviewers shot me that all my imaginations on what a doctor should be is simply too idealistic. What if I go into the real world and realize it’s not what I’d pictured.
I was shocked to hear that and I started to see how naïve I had been to think everything would be perfect. Then I told them that now I still don’t know what will happen in the future, but even it turn out to be the opposite of what I’d imagined, I’ll take responsibility of my own decision and I won’t give up what I’m doing.
Then they gave me that “are you sure?” look and my heart just sank. And I thought, oh no, I’m doomed.
But it turned out that things are fine, they just give me that skeptical look to see how I react. Thank God that I didn’t freak out and start hyperventilating in my seat. Thank God that I could still smile and say” thank you” when I left. Woosh!
Then comes the essay test. I can’t help but to get a little demoralized when I see how many people were there. It’s like the world is there on the test day.
I got more demoralized when I flipped the paper and saw the question. I’m like, Huh?! WHAT IS THIS?!! I mean that’s the last thing I’m expecting from them.
They asked on research limits, integrity and your own experience. I have no idea how to write. And I started to regret why I hadn’t take part in any sTAR research programme in school.
Then I sulked for a while and started writing. I didn’t even bother to plan! I just wrote whatever that comes to my mind. I didn’t even bother to check my grammar or sentence structure. When they said time’s up, I just managed to write down the last word.
Before handing up, I flipped through and to my horror; I realized I had written altogether 7 pages, without even knowing what exactly did I write! And I thought to myself, oh well, I think I just crapped my way through in a test like this!
Thank God that He had taught me to write those things I can’t even remember writing. It looks like it’s not crap after all. Thank God.
Then comes the waiting part. Honestly, I have to say; it doesn’t feel good at all. It’s torturing.
I check my letterbox up to 3 times a day. And each time is disappointment and more disappointment. My faith even started to sway when I heard that some of my friends have already been offered to medicine.
I had a good friend, Saradha, who also applied for medicine. I had previously prayed that, even if I can’t get in to medicine, I wish she could.
Then this morning she text me and said she got in! I was so happy for her and I thank God for answering that prayer.
Then I started to get a little worried. Why I haven’t gotten any reply yet?
God has brought me so far and He’s not gonna leave me hanging there right?
So I prayed, God! Let me get in to medicine!!! Make it happen!!
It almost sound cliché because when I on my laptop and logged into my account, I see the page reading” Congratulations! You have just been offered to the faculty of medicine in academic year 2010/2011”.
I was totally stunned!!!
I stoned for about 30 seconds and I started to cry in front of the laptop! I just can’t believe my eyes! How can God hear and answer my prayer so fast! He’s just amazing!
Now you must know that each year 2000 over people apply for medicine, 800 will be shortlisted for interviews and essay, but only 240 are offered in the end.
I didn’t have a perfect result; I didn’t have amazing testimonial or CCA records, I didn’t have wonderful recommendation letters; I didn’t have outstanding achievements; I didn’t even have clinical attachment or scholarships.
Why would they, of all the equally deserving candidates out there, choose me?
The answer is simple. It’s God. It’s God who has provided everything for me. It’s God who has made the impossible possible. When I did my “natural”, he’d done the “super” for me! All glory goes to Him! Thank you God!
I’d like to end off by telling you guys that, when you place your dream in God’s hands, and by doing your best and trust Him totally, He can make your dream come true.:)
XiaoYe
I needed Jesus @ | 11:36 AM
*.* Cabby Midnight *.*
Xup man, just got back from a movie called robin hood.
It is late at night around 11:45 i decided to take a cab back
Surprisingly the cabby was not the usual quiet one but sparked a conversation with me on the singapore casino IR
From then i knew that something was up and a door was flinging widely open for me to enter
So i decided to take it instead of my usual sleep
I decided to use the conversational evangelism that was taught by pastor dave
After talking awhile on the IR, this was our conversation
Me: Uncle, are you buddhist or freethinker?
Uncle: Freethinker
Me: How come never go temple?
Uncle: Got go abit lah with family cause family buddhist mah
Me: How come you not buddhist?
Uncle: All religion are the same, all teach to do good
Me: Uncle i got a question, if all religion are good, how do you know which one goes to heaven?
Uncle: I dont know, it depends on what each one believes. How do you know which one?
Me: Not sure ( im lying hahahahaha)
Silence for 2 min
Uncle: What do you believe in?
Me: I believe in Jesus, but not because i do good even though do because do lah but because God loves me.
Uncle: You got try other religions ?
Me: yeah , i was a freethinker, then buddhist, the taoist, then muslim, then freethinker. It was until my friend brought me to church then i got to hear about Jesus who came to earth to show love by dying for our bad deeds. So because of that i become Christian
Uncle: If you were a muslim, how did you change?
Me: It was only for a short while, go in early go out early can what. Same as other religion, read book, rise in rank, same thing lah.
Me: Uncle, how come the other religion never talk about buddha loving us or guanyin or shiva loving us at all?
Uncle: I dont know lah but its all about people choosing what they want,its all about their life...
Me: Yeah its depends on whether they choose to do good or not
Uncle: Correct thats why its up to them to choose
Me : Uncle got try other religion before?
Uncle: My friend got bring me to church before
Me: How was it?
Uncle: It was ok , like i said all religion the same ah people argue here and argue there, say this good also not good say this wrong also not good. Therefore dont say better.
Me: Its up to them to see and choose lah
Uncle: Yeah its up to them to choose
Reached home, seed planted
All wells that ends well
Im not sure if you see it as i see it
But i think its good
I needed Jesus @ | 12:24 AM
*.* Scholarship application *.*
Dear all,
Mr fat and fast here. I'm here to talk about my scholarship application process. HAHAS! actually im supposed to apply for my scholarship last week when the window was opened. However, i procrastinated and was wondering should I apply for this window or wait for the next window. And also, i did not really make that effort to find out how to apply and i don't know how to also. HAHAS. As such, I did not apply for the scholarship at all within the stipulated deadline. HAHAS! The deadline was actually on 9 May. Then on this Weds, 12 May, i was chatting on facebook with one of my senior from my school. He's kinda one of my best friends in Campus crusade and I always ask him for advice for studies also. Then he told me to faster go and apply scholarship also. After talking to him for so long, I FINALlY and reluctantly went to the SMU website and TRIED to apply. Zero sense of urgency. haix. But when my senior told me how to apply already, I was actually quite excited. hahas. that was WEDS, 1640. hahas. the window was still opened and i could still submit the application. My senior said it's better to send an email to the relvant department to confirm and ask them whether will they accept my application. As a obedient boy, Mr fat and SLOW decided to send an email to ask for another chance to apply, and my reason was personal negligence. HOHO!
At this point of time, any logical person would definately apply while waiting for the mail. but Mr fat and SLOW didn't. because he's lazy to write the long essay(actually it's not that long)and he cites timing as an issue because he got to go prayer meeting already. Lo and behold, the department emailed me back that evening and told me they will go and ask if the extension was possible. I was so happy when I heard that! thank God! hahahs. so i had a goodnight sleep and went to work the next morning, knowing that God will help me. HAHAS!
When I reach office the next morning, I saw an email from the incharge for the scholarship application.
From: Felicia GOH
Sent: Thu 5/13/2010 9:18 AM
To: SIAW Kiat Hau
Subject: RE: Scholarship application
Hi Kiat Hau
Thanks for your email.Please let me know your reason for not being able to apply before the stipulated deadline.
Regards
Felicia
Oops! I was thinking die already. HAHAS! my reason is personal negligence, any smart person would know the school will not allow a lazy and blur person to apply for SCHOLARSSHIP when he missed the deadline. Haix. At that moment, i struggled with the temptation of trying to lie and beautify my excuse so they will allow me to apply. The temptation lasted 5 secs when I contemplated to weave fairy tales and logical stories like I was overseas or blah blah blah.. HAHA. But i know that would not work cause im sure they will ask for the passport photocopy to prove or what. Then I decided to honour God and be honest, though i know the chance of them allowing me to apply will be almost zero if i'm honest. but well, honour God and being truthful is more important yar. AMEN! HAhass. so I wrote an email.................hohos!
From: SIAW Kiat Hau
Sent: Thursday, May 13, 2010 10:44 AM
To: Felicia GOH
Subject: RE: Scholarship application
Dear Ms Felicia,
I've actually encountered some difficulty understanding the criterias of the submission and I was unsure of the procedure to apply for the scholarship through oasis until my senior helped me about it yesterday. Coupled in with the start of my internship last week, I was unable to clarify and enquire about the criterias on time. Basically, i could have been more active and it's my negligence that caused me to miss the deadline. yup.s
Yours sincerely,
kiat hau
HAHAS. ok la, I admit I tried to beautify my excuse abit. But I did admit that it's my negligence la. HAhAS.so i sent the mail. woohhoos! yupssy.
Then the reply came yesterday................................it's coming,
From: Felicia GOH
Sent: Thu 5/13/2010 1:46 PM
To: SIAW Kiat Hau
Subject: RE: Scholarship application
Hi Kiat Hau
Noted, we’ll extend the deadline for you.
Please put in your application and let me know when you have submitted it.
Thanks.
Regards
Felicia
WOW!!!! God is awesome when you are being honest and just admit it's ur fault of being lazy and unsure of how to apply. HAHAS!. so siawkiathau happily applied and thank God! What is even more amazing is that the school sent out a mass email again to say that they will extend the dateline to 16 May!!! hahahsssaa. perhaps it's to be fair to the rest cause they exended for me.? (though my bro says perhaps alot of ppl also emailed them, but I believe it's God who works for me. hahas) WOWWWWW!!!! so awesome. i really think that it's God who works for my good. i really thank God because when we are honest and honour God and be frank, God's favour will definately be upon You! and it's not even whether I will get the scholarship anot, but it's about God loving me and giving favour to me although Im lazy and don't deserve it! thank You Jesus! praise You God. i love You too. HAHAS! i will apply duly the next time round.
Yours sincerely,
Mr Fat & Fast
aka
Handsomely Cutes
Mr Siaw Kiat Hau, Julian
I needed Jesus @ | 11:55 AM
*.* Repaid evil with good *.*
Xup man, today was the toughest day of one of my army life
Today when i was in the toilet i was humiliated by my army mates with the worst things boys can do.
I was really pissed and that was when the battle started for me
My anger quickly came into play and i was so filled with hateful thoughts that every thought was filled with pure bloodlust. I dont think it seems quite believable but those who knew me way before knows that i was a bloodthirsty anarchist so yeah
I had such murderous intent that even the nearby people around me could feel the fear of being killed in my thoughts.
It was then i remembered the sermon on forgiveness that God forgave us for our sins
And to forget His forgiveness is like forgetting my own face after looking in the mirror a second ago.
God reminded that i am His son and that He is well pleased with me. He told me to forgive which was the hardest thing to do. As my old nature started voicing out to me to kill and rip them apart.
BUT
BUT BUT
Thank God that He is in charge always and not me. The Lord gave me strength to hold back my anger and hatred and to cast them out in the Name of Jesus Christ. ( Beautiful Name isnt it)
Afterwards i still had the evil feelings but my thoughts were clear and focused on God. It took me a while to settle down and even now i can see the scar left.
However i no longer feel the same pain and anger as i did back then which ironically is this evening.
I thank God that though i see that scar i am able to show grace and forgiveness when the time really called and that i am still able to be who I am called to be. I thank God that i did not sin because of that and stood firm in the faith and In His Name, i know i did right thing and made Him proud.
I know i refused to sin at that time and overcame this battle
I thank God that God is God
I thank Him that i am now made stronger than before because of what He has done to me
And I say. Praise God for He is God and I am not
For He is the Gracious and ever Loving God that shows mercy to the enemies
For when justice demanded blood, He gave Himself as the ransom for us and for that i can say proudly My God avenges and i dont need to kill any longer
PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I needed Jesus @ | 11:09 PM
