Xup man, today was the toughest day of one of my army life
Today when i was in the toilet i was humiliated by my army mates with the worst things boys can do.
I was really pissed and that was when the battle started for me
My anger quickly came into play and i was so filled with hateful thoughts that every thought was filled with pure bloodlust. I dont think it seems quite believable but those who knew me way before knows that i was a bloodthirsty anarchist so yeah
I had such murderous intent that even the nearby people around me could feel the fear of being killed in my thoughts.
It was then i remembered the sermon on forgiveness that God forgave us for our sins
And to forget His forgiveness is like forgetting my own face after looking in the mirror a second ago.
God reminded that i am His son and that He is well pleased with me. He told me to forgive which was the hardest thing to do. As my old nature started voicing out to me to kill and rip them apart.

BUT
BUT BUT
Thank God that He is in charge always and not me. The Lord gave me strength to hold back my anger and hatred and to cast them out in the Name of Jesus Christ. ( Beautiful Name isnt it)
Afterwards i still had the evil feelings but my thoughts were clear and focused on God. It took me a while to settle down and even now i can see the scar left.
However i no longer feel the same pain and anger as i did back then which ironically is this evening.
I thank God that though i see that scar i am able to show grace and forgiveness when the time really called and that i am still able to be who I am called to be. I thank God that i did not sin because of that and stood firm in the faith and In His Name, i know i did right thing and made Him proud.
I know i refused to sin at that time and overcame this battle
I thank God that God is God
I thank Him that i am now made stronger than before because of what He has done to me
And I say. Praise God for He is God and I am not
For He is the Gracious and ever Loving God that shows mercy to the enemies
For when justice demanded blood, He gave Himself as the ransom for us and for that i can say proudly My God avenges and i dont need to kill any longer
PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!